Verdict: Guilty
by Laelia Sarai
Summary: Roy thinks back to better days with Maes on his best friend's wedding. Mentions of RoyMaes. Written for an LJ challenge.


_Drunken laughter filled the small army-issue tent the two men shared, bottles of stolen whiskey ranging from empty to full scattered the floor. Golden eyes stared into midnight blue ones in the brief moments between the blind staggering and barely-coherent mutterings. _

"_Yanno, Roy, you've got real nice eyes."_

_The slurred words of Maes Hughes caused both of them to freeze for a moment before collapsing in laughter again. When he had enough breath and brain capacity to speak himself, Roy responded with a comment on Maes' ass, which resulted much the same as Maes' last few words._

_Roy, too drunk to stand properly on his own, stumbled forward and caught Maes' shoulder for support. A burst of new laughter bubbled in his throat as Maes' hands crawled up his body, seeking the right place to keep his friend steady but unable to focus enough to do it properly._

_After a handful of minutes, Maes regained his composure and stood up straight, making sure to keep Roy supported as he moved. Roy continued laughing, however, and Maes saw it necessary to prod his howling partner._

"_Roy… you're gonna wake up the whole camp." Maes threatened when his other attempts at shutting the young alchemist-in-training up had failed. Roy still hadn't gained enough composure to even respond, and drunk as he was, Maes couldn't think of a better way to shut Roy up. _

_So, he kissed him._

The bells of the church rang aloud, merrily beckoning and welcoming those inside its walls. Roy could safely say that a church was definitely not his favourite place to be. He tugged at his tie, continually fidgeting. Maes noticed, and laughed.

"Stop fidgeting, Roy. You look fine."

Roy dropped his hands, feeling almost guilty for wishing it wasn't a church he was inside of (oh, he could think of a few things he'd much rather be inside of at the moment, but he decided to keep that thought to himself).

"You don't look too bad yourself." Roy offered with a lopsided grin, a gesture Maes returned.

"_Since this is the first offense for the both of you, I'm letting you off with a warning. But don't do it again, or there will be severe consequences. Understand, Privates?"_

_Roy and Maes stood at attention under the scrutiny of their commanding officer, Second Lieutenant Heuer. The two men saluted, sir-ing their commanding officer. Lieutenant Heuer smiled when they lowered their hands; he was a pleasant man, someone both Maes and Roy were glad to serve under. _

"_Its not that I have a problem with drinking," Heuer paused to gesture at his own liquor cabinet, "You just can't let it affect your work. Got that, boys?" Roy and Maes nodded , then left after being subsequently dismissed._

"_Well, he's right, you know?" Maes said after a few minutes of silence on the way back to their tent. Roy looked at him, then nodded._

"_Definitely. We can't get that drunk again. I mean… look at what happened." Roy responded, alluding to the fact that there was much more than just a little kissing that occurred the previous night. Maes nodded his agreement and they were both quiet for a few moments more._

"_Maes?"_

"_Hm?"_

"…_You wanna get drunk again?"_

"_Oh, yeah."_

"What about you, Maes? Aren't you nervous?" Roy ventured, noticing Maes toying with his cufflinks. Maes chuckled.

"If this doesn't start soon, I think I might just pull my hair out." Roy couldn't help but laugh, although he made sure to assure Maes he wasn't laughing at his nervousness. When Roy stopped laughing, Maes gave him an almost demure sort of look.

"Thanks for being here, Roy. It really means a lot to me." Roy waved him off, shaking his head.

"Don't get all mushy on me now. There's no where else I'd rather be." Maes smiled his thanks before chuckling.

"Who's getting mushy on who now?"

_And so began Maes' and Roy's 4-year-long affair. Somehow, their secret was one that never leaked except to those careful few chosen by the two. And in those long, happy 4 years between 19 and 23, Roy could safely say he'd never been happier._

_Then, there was Ishbal._

_Maes had opted to stay back, but Roy was eager to help his country, and this was a cause he saw worthy of that task. At first._

_Maes and Roy wrote to each other every day during the time Roy was away, and it was in those letters that their affair ended._

_Maes had met someone, the letter said. Her name was Gracia, and she was Roy's age (by which Maes meant to say she was 2 years younger than himself). She worked at a flower shop in town, and she was brilliant. As time went on, Maes said he knew Gracia was "the one." That was the last letter Roy received from Maes during his time in Ishbal, and it ended with two words._

"_I'm sorry."_

Roy remained silent, rolling his eyes slightly, a smirk set in place, but Maes had taken to studying his shoes, another sign of nervousness Roy was quick to point out. Before long, the guests settled down, and the music began playing. Those involved in the wedding made their way down the aisle, and just when Roy thought Maes would wet himself, the wedding march began.

Gracia looked beautiful. Her veil was fixed to her head on a tiara made of silver and diamonds and a shimmering, gauzy layer of cloth covered her dress. Maes looked awestruck. Roy felt sick.

"…_We're getting married, Roy. I proposed this morning."_

_Roy didn't look up from his task of chopping vegetables on the counter. "Oh?"_

"_Yeah. She wants to have the wedding in May. So its still a ways off, but it'll be getting cold soon and neither of us want the wedding to be in winter."_

"_Mmm."_

_Maes took Roy's refusal to look at him as anger. _

"_I want you to be the Best Man."_

"_Of course."_

_Those short answers didn't help either, however Roy did, at least, look up with a sigh and a smile that didn't look right on his face._

"_I'm happy for you Maes. Really. Just distracted. Let me finish this and you can tell me everything, okay?"_

_Maes knew Roy was happy for him, but he also knew exactly how Roy felt. Maes felt guilty for ending their relationship a few months ago, but he couldn't keep lying to himself. He wanted a family desperately, and while he couldn't say he didn't love what he and Roy had, a family was just something they couldn't have together. _

_Beyond that, as bad as he felt admitting it, he just loved Gracia more._

The ceremony was a beautiful one, Roy mused to himself while he sat alone at one of the tables in the reception hall. He truly was happy Maes could finally have what he had longed for. And Roy liked Gracia; if it were up to him, she was the precise person Roy would have chosen for Maes. But he couldn't help feeling the way he did; he still missed Maes.

He felt guilty, too. He didn't deserve Maes, not after what he'd done, but he still wanted him. As much as he liked Gracia, he found himself wishing she and Maes hadn't met. Then he would feel guilty all over because she made Maes happy in ways he couldn't. It also made him kick himself for acting like a whiny female.

It was in these musings that Gracia had sat next to him. She reached out an touched Roy's hand, getting his attention. She smiled at him, understanding in her eyes.

"Why the long face?" She asked, not removing her hand from his. Roy laughed shortly.

"Just… thinking."

Gracia, never one to beat around the bush, curled her fingers around Roy's hand so they were resting under his palm. He looked at their hands, then back at her, a thoroughly confused look on his face now.

"I know the truth, Roy. Maes told me."

Roy blinked, then realized what truth it was she was referring to. He gaped at her, certain she wouldn't be smiling at him if she really did know the truth, but she was. She leaned forward and hugged Roy gently, like he was a child who's pet had died.

"You're a wonderful friend, Roy, for not holding anything against Maes, and for letting him do this with no strings attached. And thank you for not blaming me like most people would. You'll find someone Roy," She said, pulling back now, her smile still in place, "give it time, and I promise there'll be someone for you, too."

With those final words, Gracia stood and made her way back to Maes. Roy watched her leave, and the sinking feeling in his stomach only worsened.

She really was an amazing woman, he thought. Which only made him feel even more guilty for wishing the things he had. And he wondered if that was all he could feel at the moment; guilty guilty guilty.


End file.
